Thursday, May 8

Bundanon - Day Nine

I bounced out of bed at 7am yesterday, despite my insomnia pushing my body through until about 3am the previous night (crawling into bed at 5:30am isn’t unheard of around these parts either – who needs sleep at times like these!). Aside from wanting some alone time to reflect, I was keen to spend the morning by the river… To think about where I’m at, maybe take advantage of the soft morning light (for photography), but mostly just to meditate and soak up my surroundings. I was surprised at the amount of bird life by the shore – willy wag tails, magpies, wrens, kookaburras, king fishers, crimson rosellas all within a few metres of each other. To be a part of that! Wow!

Of course I wouldn’t dream of breaking the Bundanon Artist’s In Residency ‘no swimming’ rule, so I just…um…errr…danced naked across the sand and dipped my toes in? Yes, that’s what I did. The cold certainly didn’t force a sudden intake of breath as I dived in. And I didn’t shout songs of excitement to the birds as I spooned handfuls of icy water over my head. Neither was I able to experience the cool rush of water swirling around my naked body… so… um… yeah I just sat…. oops, I mean danced… and imagined all of the things that might have happened if I’d swum… As I basked in the sun pretending to let my imaginary drenched locks of hair dry, I watched a willy wag tail flit along the shores, glancing quizzically every so often in my direction (HA - he reminded me of the raven and goat that Boyd obsessively painted as a symbol of voyeurism). I wrote in my journal, took a few photos and breathed in deeply… Ah!

Anyway, it seems the sheer power of imagination made for a sensational day. The dreams of an entirely imaginary morning swim refreshed my mind and soothed my spirit. On returning to my studio, a few tangible ideas for writing began to emerge. Fingers itched. My pen began dancing wildly across the room. And so I wrote! Words. On paper. There’re still very raw, but I’ve started. It’s all very exciting.

Let me explain my excitement: I wasn’t sure how much writing I’d actually do while down here. Having experienced intense writer’s block in the last few months, I’d made the decision to focus on photography, painting and sculpture during the residency. In the lead up to the residency, however, I felt like my blockage was starting to dissipate. This was mostly due to a rediscovery of my passion for letter writing. Through a series of letters to a friend, I found words began flowing from my fingers again. It was a fascinating process. And prompted me to commit, while at Bundanon, to daily blogging and scrawling out morning pages. It’s still a slowly unravelling process, however, and I decided to only write creatively if my fingers started itching to throw words on the page. No expectations. No pressure. But this morning my fingers started itching! Hoorah!

These ten days have taught me a lot about my creative process. Like Julian, ‘lounging about, unwinding, enthusiastically talking up ideas, and idly noodling’ – and I’d add, debating hardcore issues, cooking, reading, watching movies and teasing Jules himself – has been crucial for getting the creative juices flowing. Yet so often I’ll feel guilty if it isn’t immediately obviously that what I’m doing is directly productive towards my end goal. Here I’m learning that so much time for me is spent thinking conceptually about an idea – planning, discussing, exploring abstractly - the nitty gritty craftsmanship of creating a work, words on paper, paint on canvass, emerges much later. I love creating first in my head and bouncing those ideas around, exploring all the options and thinking laterally for further options… So talking, lounging around, cooking etc. are really important and valid! Hmm… brains are such strange things…

Speaking of my brain, the contents of it are currently sprawled across our newly acquired second art studio. Not actual brain bits, of course, just a symbolic representation. With paper, textas, nails and creative enthusiasm, I created a giant mind map of our song cycle/installation when I got back from my river adventure. It isn’t often that I have so much space to spread out, so why not! I also thought it was time for the group to start focusing in on our project. What was actually achievable? What ideas should we keep exploring? Were there actual components that we could start writing/composing? Who wanted to do what? What was the scale of the project? I figured having a central space to summarise our ideas – one drawing board rather than five – would be useful for 1. Ensuring that we are on the same wavelength, 2. Nutting out some achievable goals for the final four days of our residency, 3. Ensuring that we found a model that allowed each one of us to use our strengths to their advantage.

Our discussion in the evening demonstrated just how far we’ve come in finding a collaborative model that seems achievable, despite all our initial concerns. We’re finding ways of working together. We’re moving forward. There are still challenges ahead, but I think we’ve reached another turning point. I’m really excited.

We’re going on an adventure tonight… To sleep in the rundown shack across the paddock – the one in which the Swiss artist built her embroidery installation. A night of creative storytelling, poetry reading, insomnia, mandolin playing and – if Rhiannon actually manages to find her way ‘home’ this time – chocolate munching!

Dammit I don’t want to go home…

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